Introverts and Extroverts together at last

This is where the rubber hits the road as the final three chapters deal with the practical issue of how introverts best serve at church, encompassing both congregation and staff members. Chapter 7 contains much reflection on self-care, some of which I heartily endorse (prayer and Bible meditation), some of which I question (I'm not sure of the appropriateness of silent retreats to 'people of the word'.) McHugh's advice about ensuring that self-care moves in an outward direction is very helpful, and my initial fears about excessive introspection as a hallmark of introversion were certainly alleviated. By the end of the book this is challenged rather than excused. On the flip side, his suggestion that others could learn from the benefits of introspection, considering our choices and not being driven by external forces, was very helpful. There is certainly a great need for introverts to help us extroverts to be less hectic and more reflective!

As women we can be heartened by McHugh's observation that one to ones are the most comfortable ministry context for introverts. This had me reflecting that a few of the burdens of 'up front leadership' are actually removed from the job description of the average woman serving in ministry. Similarly, the conclusions reached about team leadership is reflective of the context in which most women will serve. To have not just male and female, but introverts and extroverts (a new category for Paul in Galatians 3?) on the team is a great bonus for well-rounded people work. McHugh's illustration of this from his own experience is instructive, and I have also seen this model work well on several occasions. There is a great need when building ministry teams to be aware of the varying personality types, as well as the gifts, that make up a team so we can serve together the most effectively. The reflections on page 165 about having a right view of difference were a bit of a rebuke to me. Perhaps my earlier impatience with introverts involved a certain amount of misunderstanding. Overall the book has been helpful for realising that introversion is more significant than I first thought. I've understood one of my closest friends much better now, and appreciated how far she's met me down the extroverted end of operating most of the time. 

It's fantastic how McHugh challenges us in chapter 8 to see evangelism as non negotiable! And his observation that many of the prevailing methods are ill-suited to introverts is insightful. But I'm not sure his alternative method for evangelism is an accurate description of sharing the gospel - the Christian and the unbeliever being fellow explorers of the mysteries of God??? What about unbelievers being dead, blind, rebellious, and enslaved? While there's an element of truth to the fact that God is at work in those he's calling as he draws them to himself, that's not everyone we share the gospel with. Certainly the concept of evangelism being about responding to the way God is already at work in the people around me is liberating, but I'm not sure about the concept of listening evangelism. At the point where McHugh began to speak of experiencing God through sculpture, and quoting the famous St Francis of Assisi line, I'm once again finding myself in serious disagreement with him. Viewing the world sacramentally? I'd agree that if we're God-centred we can talk about him in relation to most activities but it's not an act of worship! Unfortunately these concepts continued into chapter 9. Page 192 makes me nervous, it's disturbing how certain elements of Catholicism seem to be re-entering the Protestant church in the name of Post Modernism. Enough said about that! By the end of the book I do like where McHugh lands his argument, challenging each of us to find our place to serve in church, but many of the stages of the journey weren't entirely helpful. A book like this does provoke more thought than one by a like-minded author, so it's not necessarily a bad thing. Would I recommend this book to most introverts I know? Probably not. But at least I know how to personally encourage them, having read it myself!

About this month's contributor, Alison Napier

Alison has been working in full-time ministry for a decade now, serving firstly with City Bible Forum, and then at St Andrew’s Cathedral. She has just started in a new role at the University of New South Wales serving with overseas students as part of the chaplaincy team, while also working as a consultant with Two Ways Ministries. Her favorite thing to do in ministry is to read the Bible with women who've never read it before, it's just so exciting to see them discover the wonderful things it says. Her current new interest is learning the joy of cycling to work - the combination of commuting and exercise appeals to her love of multi-tasking. 

Looking to Christ

In this post we'll look at chapters 4-6 which examine how introversion greatly affects a person's engagement with the church. Don't get me wrong from last week, while I do think our literary friend overstates the case when describing introversion by using the language of sickness and suffering, his book has helped me to see how being introverted is a massive burden given the realities of church as community. 'Being communal' is certainly not a natural state for introverts! As an extrovert who has nothing but positive thoughts about regular 'engagement' with large numbers of people I'm grateful for that aspect of how God has made me. (I'm also conscious that I will be held accountable for whether I've made the most of my capacities for serving God at church - 1 Cor 4:2-5). But as I read chapter four, I'm finding myself in a foreign context, and I don't think it's just because it's an introvert's world. I'm not sure that McHugh's concept of 'introverted spirituality' matches up with the gospel. When he writes that "introverts who flourish spiritually have descended deep into our own souls and deep into the heart of God" (p69) it doesn't quite level with biblical descriptions of the Christian walk such as Ephesians 2:10, Colossians 4:2-6, and Titus 2:11-14. Much of chapter four is about mysticism and how it is a valid form of engaging with God. But God hasn't spoken 'in manifold ways' (p70) in the sense that McHugh is suggesting. Hebrews 1:1 tells us that those many and varied ways were through the prophets, and now through his Son, that is, in and by God's Word. And receiving that Word mainly involves a couple of key senses, it certainly isn't about "sensing God on a different level that transcends words and rational thought." (p71) While this chapter does address a real need for introverts to have times of solitude to re-energise, I don't think this practise needs to be spiritualised. Just as extroverts might throw a party to cheer themselves up at times, I suspect that time alone is equally a self-care mechanism and not an alternate form of 'spirituality.'

There were some helpful insights in this section. In chapter five we certainly do see the burden that McHugh bears as he seeks to minister as an 'introverted academic type', forcing himself to spend time with people (and from the impression this chapter gives, not yet winning that battle). The picture of an extrovert's relational straight line versus the introvert's relational spiral has equipped me to better help introverted friends by understanding that dynamic and making allowances. McHugh also has good things to say in this chapter about listening, which us extroverts definitely need to heed. And the example he gives at the end of chapter five about Roy is an excellent picture of how to serve while making accommodations for introversion. It's a great model of give and take, some things are done for the sake of others, and some in order for Roy to serve most effectively. And it's also an example of the time it takes for some introverts to grow into their place of serving at church. 

Chapter six certainly highlights the heavier burden that introverted leaders bear when people keep assuming that pastors must be extroverted. And it offers helpful encouragement for how introverts can be themselves. This chapter also points us toward a God dependence which is essential for God's servants, indeed the key to survival. But this is the exception to his generally more introspective outlook. My main issue with these three chapters, which came up again and again, lastly with the (questionable) use of Mother Teresa's leadership example, is that ultimately, the solution to our struggles to serve in a world while navigating the obstacles posed by our personalities are found not by looking within, but by looking to Christ (Hebrews 12:1-2). And this is especially so as we seek to lead his people. 

About this month's contributor, Alison Napier

Alison has been working in full-time ministry for a decade now, serving firstly with City Bible Forum, and then at St Andrew’s Cathedral. She has just started in a new role at the University of New South Wales serving with overseas students as part of the chaplaincy team, while also working as a consultant with Two Ways Ministries. Her favorite thing to do in ministry is to read the Bible with women who've never read it before, it's just so exciting to see them discover the wonderful things it says. Her current new interest is learning the joy of cycling to work - the combination of commuting and exercise appeals to her love of multi-tasking. 

Introverts in the Church by Adam S. McHugh

Adam McHugh, on first impression, appears to be just my sort of writer. He's quite literary in style. His vivid vocabulary makes him a delight to read, his quotes from Sherlock Holmes at the start of chapter 2 were right up my alley, and the attention grabbing beginning to the book - the story of 'to post or not to post....' all connected with me immediately. The first sentence of chapter 2 is priceless: 'We all have two dead European psychologists dueling in our heads.' Clever! .... and so I settled back for an enjoyable read.

I was curious about the topic, the exercise set for me of writing about a book on introversion from the perspective of an extrovert was a good one. What an opportunity for walking in someone else's shoes!  I was hoping that it would help me to see how I could allow the introverts in my church to feel more comfortable and to serve more appropriately.

Unfortunately the further I read the more irritated I am becoming by the author. Is it because I'm an extrovert that I'm finding it hard to cope with the high level of introspection? And the more he cites examples of insights from his female friends who are priests, the helpfulness of Catholic retreats and various miraculous experiences (what on earth was his vision of the little boy on page 58 all about?), the more I realise that Adam and I are not exactly on the same page about all sorts of things, not just our personality types. 

I'm trying really hard to read with an open mind, but the sense in the first few chapters that introversion is an ailment requiring a cure has made me somewhat impatient with the whole enterprise. I hope I don't perpetuate the pain of introverts reading this reflection by doubting the reality of their struggles - chapter 3 has examples of damage done by misunderstanding family members and their sad stories - but I wonder was it introversion or general insensitivity and lack of trust that was at the heart of some of those scenarios? I don't want to be insensitive, but I have to confess to some scepticism as to whether introversion leads to true pain or merely discomfort. Claims such as (page 50) '.... ours is the aching loneliness of not being known or understood' make me sympathise with the situation, but it's not the plight of the true sufferer from a chronic illness or disability. Maybe it's McHugh's literary bent that builds the impression of a tragic situation? Introverts, is it really that great a burden? Perhaps so, and I should try harder in my role as a church worker to alleviate the situation. But I'm currently thinking that if God has created so many of us as introverts, then maybe it's a condition that is a bit more bearable than that?

Thanks to this book I have been reflecting on the pitfalls of both personality types. Perhaps introverts need to guard against self-absorption and extroverts self-promotion? McHugh certainly acknowledges that sin affects our thinking (pg 54), and on page 59 he himself raises the issue of self-preoccupation as a danger for introverts. He advocates the practice of directing our gaze to God and away from ourselves (pg 55), and on page 56 he acknowledges that our identity is ultimately found in our relationship with Christ. Ephesians 4 speaks of how, as Christians, we are works in progress with a new self being shaped in Christ's image. Verse 24 exhorts us to: "..... put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness." It really does help if we spend more of our energies reflecting on Christ and not so much time on who we are in our natural state. We certainly need a certain level of self-understanding, but only so we can make progress in becoming who God would have us to be, relying on his transforming power to overcome our limitations in order to serve him in the world in all sorts of ways that we'd not naturally be able to do in our own strength. 

Again, I do hope that this reflection is not just the writings of an unsympathetic extrovert. These are just my thoughts on the first 3 chapters of the book. I have not yet drawn my final conclusion, as I have not yet read McHugh's. Feel free also to share your thoughts and experiences - both on the book and on my reflections too.

Other thoughts on history and culture:

* What is it about the character analysis of Jesus in chapter 1 that makes me nervous? Is it an anachronism to characterise Jesus, as well as the Apostle Peter, the patriarch Jacob, Mary and Zacchaeus (see the end of ch 2) as introverts or extroverts if it wasn't really a category of thought in Bible times?

* I also wonder how much of these introverted/extroverted personality divisions are a 'Western' way of viewing ourselves, born of our individualistic culture. Otherwise, how do introverts cope in the communal cultures of the great majority of the world? Possibly even in the West we were all communal up until recent eras? 

About this month's contributor, Alison Napier

Alison has been working in full-time ministry for a decade now, serving firstly with City Bible Forum, and then at St Andrew’s Cathedral. She has just started in a new role at the University of New South Wales serving with overseas students as part of the chaplaincy team, while also working as a consultant with Two Ways Ministries. Her favorite thing to do in ministry is to read the Bible with women who've never read it before, it's just so exciting to see them discover the wonderful things it says. Her current new interest is learning the joy of cycling to work - the combination of commuting and exercise appeals to her love of multi-tasking.