Conscience and Confession

Part 4,  Discovering the Joy of a Clear Conscience by Christopher Ash

Drawing to a close our reading of Discovering the Joy of a Clear Conscience, Ash weaves together the first three sections of the book to look at how we can have a Christian conscience. The two points, which stood out for me, and which I continue to think about, are: the place of the Bible in “recalibrating” our conscience, and the spiritual need for confession.

In the penultimate chapter we are confronted with a picture of faulty conscience for both the weak and the strong (in the words of Paul), or the oversensitive and undersensitive consciences. Ash wants us to consider both the religious and social aspects of our consciences, that is the way in which other people and the Bible influence our consciences, and for us to “recalibrate” our consciences accordingly.

It is so easy, especially within our churches, to think that how we do things is the ‘right’ way, to have lives which reflect more our Christian sub-culture than lives which are being made into the image of Christ. Paul’s epistles to the Corinthians show us that we need be on guard to ensure that have not wandered from the Gospel we were first taught. Specifically that we do not stray into religiosity, or syncretism, or nominalism. This is important to guard against becoming either legalistic or licentious in our lives and our consciences. I’ve found myself thinking a lot about the behaviours and practices that are tolerated at church, but which may in fact be contra to the Bible’s teaching. However, as Ash strives to show us, it is what is in our heart, behind these things, that matters. We need to have integrated lives. Sincere lives-

Deep genuineness and authenticity come from a heart that is single and pure, not divided and mixed; from a conscience that is good, cleansed and clean rather than guilty; and from a faith that is real. This is the root and origin of all true love towards God and people. (166)

We don’t want Churches of people who are merely looking to each other to please each other and puff themselves up, but Churches of people looking to Christ to love and serve each other and God.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this verse that Ash quotes from Proverbs: “Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life.” (Proverbs 4:23, HCSB) The writer of Proverbs admonishes his ‘sons’ to listen to his instruction, and to keep his words in their hearts. Our conscience is important, but of greater importance is what shapes and feeds our conscience. Ash reminds us that we are “moral chameleons” (165), taking on the norms of the culture around us, including our Church cultures. We need to be shaped by the Bible- by the living, breathing Word of God. This is why we need to keep reading, studying and listening to the Word of God. We need to do this by ourselves, and we need to do this together. There is a clear warning here to not make idols of our consciences (158), but to subject our unreliable consciences “to be deliberately and consciously subjected to the reliable Word of God.” (158) And, in doing so, leads us to confession.

In the Anglican tradition, in which I grew up, we have a moment in the service where we pray a confession. I have found that having imbibed these words weekly in my formative years they now structure my confession generally. However, often I can be a bit like Polonius in Hamlet, where “My words fly up, my thoughts remain below”. I mumble the confession often without thinking about the specific sins which I need to repent of, but also without truly acknowledging that my sins are forgiven, that my conscience is cleansed, that Christ’s blood has done for me what I could not, can not do for myself.

If the only way we can have a clear conscience is through Christ’s blood, which cleanses our conscience, then it is only right that we live lives of repentance and faith. Ash writes that confession is essential in the Christian life, particularly to guard against hardness of heart. We lie to ourselves and suppress our consciences if we do not face our (daily!) need of cleansing.  We need to do this by ourselves, but we also need to do this with others.

About this month's contributor - Sian Lim

Sian loves Jesus, her family and books. She loves teaching and studying English literature and sharing Jesus with people. Sian enjoys good coffee, photography and going to the beach. She is always ready to discuss a great book or two. Sian loves being a mum but at the moment she would really like some more sleep.

There is Hope

Discovering the Joy of a Clear Conscience, Christopher Ash   Part 3

During lent my family uses diminishing lights each week alongside guided readings to reflect on the significance of Christ’s death and resurrection. The diminishing light is mirrored in the changing light of the season. Moving into Autumn the light shifts, darkness begins to creep in, the light is no longer harsh and strong, but takes on a softness from the sun sitting lower in the sky. As the season progresses, we reflect on the darkness of sin and on God’s continual mercy to his people; and then finally, on Good Friday, we snuff out the final candle and are plunged into darkness. In some ways as we enter the mid-point of Ash’s book I feel as if we have been plunged into darkness. We are forced to reflect upon our guilty consciences that convict us of our sin. And confronted by that we are forced to consider the effects of this on our consciences.

On Palm Sunday, walking through the graveyard that surrounds my church, I was reflecting with a friend on this book. We were talking about how so many people can struggle with feeling distant from God; and even though objectively their relationship with God is secure these feelings impact and affect their relationship with him. This issue is often at the heart of why some people walk away from their faith- often while still believing the gospel message to be true, because they feel distance from God, because their consciences convict them of their sinfulness. As Ash writes in the first chapter of this third section: ‘The Choice We All Face,’ it is seen by some as easier to harden their heart, their conscience, than to feel the full weight of their sin, and turn to Christ in repentance and faith.

Yet, there is hope.

Having felt the full weight of our guilty consciences and the lure of the hardened conscience in the previous chapters, Ash then turns to ‘The Cleansed Conscience’. This chapter is probably the most important of the book, and is significant to Ash’s thesis, as we move from darkness to light.

In this chapter Ash focuses on an exposition of Hebrews 9:1-10:22 to examine “how real Christianity can make their consciences clean” (130). He unpacks the writer to the Hebrews’ argument, which contrasts the new way of relating to God because of Christ to the system of relating to God with the tabernacle that the Israelites had when they were journeying from Egypt to the Promised Land. Again, Ash is winsome and clear, outlining how the inner room of the tabernacle and the whole sacrificial system reminded the Israelites of their guilty consciences-

We too need to grasp that a guilty conscience is, objectively, a very serious thing. If I feel guilty, I dare not and will not enter the presence of God. For, if I have any sense, I will know that God is absolutely pure, and his burning purity will consume me. My guilty conscience warns me. It is necessary to grasp this objective truth before we can grasp and enjoy the wonder of a conscience made clean. (135)

Ash then looks at how, through Jesus’ death (the perfect sacrifice, the great High Priest), we can now “draw near” to God (Hebrews 10:22). We can enter the inner room of the tabernacle; the curtain split in two on that first Good Friday. And we can continue to draw near, even as we continue to struggle with sin in our lives, knowing that Jesus’ blood was shed for us, including our consciences: “having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience” (Hebrews 10:22). Like the writer to the Hebrews, Ash wants us to know and feel this. And he warns both the proud and the despairing Christian that both are rooted “in a reluctance to bow before the grace of God” (146).

At Easter, we remind ourselves, and each other, of Christ’s sacrifice and victory over sin and death. We light all the candles. And the darkness, which seemed to overwhelm us, is gone. Christ’s blood has made us clean, cleansed from our sins and from our guilty consciences. And so we can sing,

Jesus, my great High Priest,

Offered his blood and died;

My guilty conscience seeks

No sacrifice beside.

His pow'rful blood did once atone,

And now it pleads before the throne. (Isaac Watts)

About this month's contributor - Sian Lim

Sian loves Jesus, her family and books. She loves teaching and studying English literature and sharing Jesus with people. Sian enjoys good coffee, photography and going to the beach. She is always ready to discuss a great book or two. Sian loves being a mum but at the moment she would really like some more sleep.

An Awakened Conscience

Discovering the Joy of a Clear Conscience, Christopher Ash  Part 2

At a mission conference I attended in January this year I noticed there was a bit of discussion around the idea of whether ‘Western’ society has moved from a guilt/innocence to a pain/pleasure worldview. There is much to make me want to agree with this idea, particularly in thinking about what it is that motivates people. However, while superficially it looks as though we have moved to a pain/pleasure worldview I think it is not quite so great a paradigm shift from guilt/conscience. In part, it has been Ash’s book that has convinced me of this, but also that conscience, a concern for whether our behaviour is ‘right’, is still very much a part of our contemporary culture (just see the Cohen brothers’ latest film, Hail, Caesar! and you’ll see what I mean!).

In the second part of the book Ash looks at conscience as symptom, specifically looking at the guilty conscience and the awakened conscience. This is probably the hardest part of the book to read. This is where we explore how ‘moral self-awareness touches our affections’. The very real (even physical) pain of a guilty conscience thus shows that there is continuity between the two worldviews of guilt/innocence and pain/pleasure. And so we must feel-

The crushing weight of past wrongs that sits, as an unexpressed sob, heavy in our chests.

The shadow that we are dimply aware of during the day, but are surrounded by in the darkness of night.

The silent suffering that mocks our attempts at intimacy, leaving us feeling bitter and alone.

Ash guides us by the hand in this section; as a pastor, he is honest and loving towards his reader, and he lets us know that he is just like us. He begins with an eye-opening examination of Joseph’s brothers’ guilty consciences from Genesis. Ash’s knowledge of and love for God’s Word is evident in his treatment of this narrative. He goes on to look at other examples of a guilty conscience (most notably King David). He outlines nine characteristics of a guilty conscience, and it is worth thinking (and praying!) through the questions that he asks at the end of the chapter in regards to these characteristics.

In the following chapter Ash looks at the awakened conscience as symptom. I am currently in the tenth month of broken sleep (actually that figure is much higher as I had dreadful insomnia for most of my pregnancy). Most days I feel as if I haven’t fully awakened. Things happen. I am as much an agent as I am acted upon. I manage to inhabit a social and physical space. But I don’t feel as if cognitively or emotionally I’m fully engaged with what is happening. However, every now and then the baby manages to sleep through the night, and the next day is an entire revelation to me. The world seems completely changed. However, it’s not that the world is different it is just that I am awake to understand it.

Ash wants us to think about what it means for us to feel guilty, what it means for us to have an awakened conscience. He looks at how an awakened conscience is, importantly, a sign of hope. For it is a sign that the Spirit of God is at work within us, bringing us to understand the gospel.

This section of the book left me emotionally drained for days afterward. However, read in context, it became a form of catharsis: bringing me to repentance and spiritual restitution. For while it dredged up memories of my past of which I am ashamed, in the end it was a reminder of the times in my life which drew me closer to God, and of my journey to faith in Jesus Christ.

If it weren’t for my conscience I would only have an intellectual understanding of the Gospel. I would see the need for Jesus’ death and resurrection for all of humanity, but I would not feel my need.

My guilty conscience convicts me of my need for a saviour.

I need to wake up.

“This is why it is said: ‘Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.’” (Ephesians 5:14)

About this month's contributor - Sian Lim
Sian loves Jesus, her family and books. She loves teaching and studying English literature and sharing Jesus with people. Sian enjoys good coffee, photography and going to the beach. She is always ready to discuss a great book or two. Sian loves being a mum but at the moment she would really like some more sleep.

Discovering the Joy of a Clear Conscience by Christopher Ash Part 1

It struck me, while listening to the radio in the car the other morning, how important this seemingly innocuous book by Christopher Ash is to our context. A radio station was reporting on a Labor Senator from Western Australia who had taken the extreme measure of quitting parliament because he would not be allowed a conscience vote on Same Sex Marriage. A fellow member of the Labor Party guffawed the very idea, suggesting that given this Caucus voting rule was only to be enacted in 2019 and that the “majority of Australians” support same sex marriage that it was ridiculous that he should be quitting parliament. That the senator was quitting parliament because of his own conscience was neither here nor there.

That still quiet voice within.

That voice which can deafen us.

It is bizarre that in a society, which supposedly upholds the rights and freedoms of the individual, we should so malign the conscience. For, in many ways, it is our conscience, our “moral self awareness” (Ash, 19) that helps to define our individuality. It is my conscience that sets me apart from you on any given issue. For, while I can intellectually see and understand differences of opinions, it is my conscience which directs my heart. I have the option of going against you or going against my conscience. Even if you are right it is a heavy burden to carry within me.

Christopher Ash’s book Discovering the Joy of a Clear Conscience is a breath of fresh theological air in an area of the Christian life that has either been neglected altogether or has been examined from a psychological rather than theological perspective. (Perhaps the only book published in recent years, which I have read, that has come closest to thinking about conscience is Miroslav Volf’s The End of Memory; however, his thesis is in the remembering of all wrongs, not just your own!) Ash is winsome and pastoral, particularly not making light of the impact of mental illness in this aspect of the Christian life, but defining his area of expertise: the Bible. In the Afterword (which I read before I had finished the book, of course!) Ash outlines why he came to write the book, as an encouragement “to make a careful watchfulness of your conscience an integral part of your Christian life” (198). It turns out no one else has, at least, not for a long time, considered the conscience. He writes,

Conscience is a subjective experience that ought to be rooted in objective truth. In some of our Christian circles, it seems to me that we have rightly emphasized the objective truth but carelessly neglected to enquire into the subjective experience… (198)

This short and very accessible book is divided into four parts. The first two parts look at the dual facets of conscience: as guide and as symptom. In the first part Ash outlines what the conscience is, specifically: “moral self-awareness that touches my affections and my will.” (19) In this part he looks at the conscience as guide in three ways: inner voice, unreliable voice and indispensable voice. Fundamentally, Ash argues, our conscience is linked to our integrity. If I am to live a life of integrity, I need to listen to my conscience. George Washington exhorted people to “Labor (sic) to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience.” It matters how I live, and it matters how I think about how I live. As Ash writes, “It is very dangerous to do something if I believe (even perhaps tentatively) that it is wrong. I may later come to the settled conviction that the Bible does allow it, but until I reach that settled conviction, I must err on the safe side and follow my conscience.” (48) This idea that it is very dangerous for us to ignore our conscience might be unsettling for many of us, but Ash will outline exactly why it is so in the next sections.

This book is an uncomfortable read at times. My conscience has definitely been awakened (thanks, Ash!). However, as we look at this book together, we might begin to see how having a better understanding of our conscience will, like grace itself, be a liberating force for good in our lives and the lives of others.

About this month's contributor - Sian Lim
Sian loves Jesus, her family and books. She loves teaching and studying English literature and sharing Jesus with people. Sian enjoys good coffee, photography and going to the beach. She is always ready to discuss a great book or two. Sian loves being a mum but at the moment she would really like some more sleep.